50 Jokes and Riddles for the ESL Classroom

A riddle is generally a question devised so as to require clever or unexpected thinking for its answer. Riddles may be considered a form of brain teaser.

In general conversation, a riddle is usually presented to someone who knows that a riddle is being asked and accepts the challenge of guessing the correct response.

The guesser may get one or multiple guesses. Sometimes the asker gives clues, but sometimes the guesser just does the best she or he can.

There is usually one correct answer to a riddle, and it is common for the correct answer to be given, even if the guesser doesn’t think of it.

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List Riddles for the ESL Classroom

These are some riddles that you can share with your students. These are divided in 3 sets.

Riddles Set #1

1. What month do soldiers hate?
2. What falls often but never gets hurt?
3. You are my brother, but I am not your brother. Who am I?
4. What three letters change a girl into a woman?
5. People buy me to eat, but never eat me. What am I?
6. I can fly but have no wings. I can cry but I have no eyes. Wherever I go, darkness follows me. What am I?
7. What has a neck, but no head?
8. Feed me and I live, yet give me a drink and I die
9. What comes down but never goes up?
10. I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
11. What has hands but can not clap?
12. What can’t be used until it’s broken?

Riddles Set #2

1. If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I?
2. What travels around the world but stays in one spot?
3. What can you catch but not throw?
4. What is at the end of a rainbow?
5. What has many keys but can’t open any doors?
6. What are two things people never eat before breakfast?
7. I am full of holes, I can hold water. What am I?
8. How many people are buried in that cemetery?
9. What teaches without talking?
10. What gets wet when drying?
11. What belongs to you but others use it more than you do?
12. In what month do women talk the least?

Riddles Set #3

1. What word is always pronounced wrong?
2. What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it?
3. Everyone has it and no one can lose it, what is it?
4. How many months have 28 days?
5. I can speak all the languages of the world. What am I?
6. I’m brown on the outside. I’m white on the inside. I’m hard and you can eat or drink me. I’m hairy. I grow in hot countries.
7. Every country has one. I have different colors. I need wind to fly.
8. I’m a beautiful animal. I’m found in Africa. I have the first and last letters of the alphabet in my name. I’m like a horse. I’m striped.
9. What word begins with E, ends with E and has one letter?
10. I’m very, very big.I like to eat peanuts and hay.I have four legs and two big ears.My long nose is called a trunk. What am I ?
11. What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?
12. I’m tall when I’m young, I’m short when I’m old. What am I?

Jokes in English for the ESL Classroom

These are some funny jokes that you can share in your classes

Mad Cow Disease

Two cows are standing in a field.

One cows says to the other “Aren’t you worried about Mad Cow Disease?”

The other one says “Of course, I am not worried, I’m a horse!” 

I am a Lightbulb

Two employees are talking.

The woman says:  “I am gonna make the boss give me the day off.”

The man replies, “How are you gonna do that?”

The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing up there?”

The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”

The boss then says, “You’ve been working too much . I think you need to take the day off.”

The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”

The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.” 

You are a Good Dancer

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.

Boy: What are the two things? 

Girl: Your feet. 

I am a Bad Mother

Mike, do you think I’m a bad mother? 

My name is John.

Dog on a Bike

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away

School

Mother: “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick: “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother: “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick: “What school?

Passionate  Kisser

A: Oh baby, since you started your diet, you’ve become such a passionate kisser.

B: What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains!

I love that car

“You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door opens…”

 “Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I’m expecting a serious discount on that car!

Banana Peels 

Q. What’s a banana peel’s favorite type of shoe?

A. Slippers!

Come on Fathers

A teacher is talking to a student.

Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework? 

Student: No, he did it all by himself.

The Past Tense 

The teacher says: Today, we’re going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say “I am beautiful,” which tense is it?

The student says: Obviously it’s the past tense.

Rest in Peace

Q: Why did the boy bury his flashlight?

A: Because the batteries were dead!

Ted is Back

Difference between a beautiful night and a horror night.

Beautiful night is, When you hug your teddy bear and sleep.

Horror night is, When your teddy bear hugs you BACK.

No More Fights Please

Today I saw two blind people fighting,
then I shouted “I’m supporting the one with the knife”,
they both ran away.

Dreams are Dreams

1) I woke up
2) I went to school
3) I saw her
4) I ran to her, and I hugged her
5) I kissed her
Actually, the right order is 3, 4, 5, 1, 2

Made in China

I asked why Wall of China is the wonder of the world!

Answer: It’s the only thing made in China that lasted years.

Oh My Gosh

Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish! 

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